Looking Back to October 6th, 2023
At this time three years ago, I was not yet living in Israel for the second time. In fact - I hadn't even visited in 11 years, and the years I had lived here happily had receded into the background...into a place in the attic you forget about, when things in the forefront become too overwhelming for too long - that you simply forget - a time when you had found yourself, and a time when you had been happy. I had arrived back "home," a makeshift of homes - to Charlotte, North Carolina - after eight months of working on the road, in September of 2023, finally turned in my US Citizenship application, which had been a thorn in my side since 2004, and one of the main reasons I had departed Israel in the first place, after living here from 2004 to 2009. (Having to enter the US every six months because I only had a green card was expensive and tiring, and throwing away the green card seemed like a bad idea...) My reward for getting in the 20-page application, and for having done very well at a very good job for two years - (this job came after being more or less debilitated from loss and trauma for seven endless years) - my reward - was a trip to Colombia in South America.
It was like my old self was finally rearing its head - my old international traveling self - she who had once backpacked Europe, taught English all over the world and ultimately gone on Birthright which had led to my immigrating to Israel.
I arrived in Colombia on September 14th, and did a "tour for people who don't do tours" with a company called Intrepid. I discovered them when selling travel in Vancouver, and they are great for countries I am traveling alone to, but don't really know how to travel alone to. I met my small group of fellow travelers there, and for the next 15 days, was taken around a country I had always wanted to visit. We made coffee with beans we picked off the bushes (trees?); we hiked in pristine fields with the tallest and skinniest palm trees and I eventually impressed with my salsa I hadn't done in years in the city I loved the most there, Medellin... Yet Medellin really reminded me of somewhere, so I was having a deja-vu... It's a city, but with a garden feel, and a personality that felt incredibly familiar. What did it remind me of? I began to file through the many places I had lived, but no, it wasn't Montreal, or New Jersey, or New York, or Vancouver, or Orlando, or.... I thought and I thought and I thought and I thought, but it refused to come to me. And then - all of a sudden - I turned a corner - and my mouth dropped open. A city with tree-lined streets appearing around each corner, with lively personality... It reminded me of a place I'd called home for five incredible years - it reminded me of Tel Aviv!
All at once, I craved Israel, with every fiber of my being, and I said so - to everyone on my tour.
After all, I had already celebrated Rosh Ha Shana on my tour, and found the Chabad in Cartagena to observe Yom Kippur at the end of my tour, where I was of course spending a few days on my own once it ended.
I started to look up Intrepid tours in Turkey and flights to both Israel and Turkey - for October - and nearly convinced an Australian woman on my trip to do it all with me... But alas, the friend in Israel I would have had to stay with was impossible to get ahold of, and trying to arrange it all from abroad was tricky, but I had savings now - and I was going to plan an epic visit. In fact - perhaps I should consider moving back to Israel.
My tour of Colombia ended, and I tried to treat myself to a few days of luxury, using my hotel points in Cartagena, as well as a suite upgrade, (excusez-moi), but very unfortunately - I HAD BAD ICE IN MY JUICE THE MOMENT I LEFT THE SAFETY OF MY TOUR. And, having never been to Mexico, I was not prepared for what this meant. I can remember crawling, until I could no longer crawl, but was slithering across my suite.
I do not think I was well enough to have traveled home, but somehow I did, on September 28th. I then made the mistake of calling a nurse hotline, who told me I had to go to the hospital and get an IV. I told her I was pretty sure that Gatorade and TV on the couch would cure me, but she was insistent and scared me half to death. Those few hours at the hospital brought on a bill for at least $500 - a bill I would fight to not pay later on - and lose - and I had health insurance... G-d bless America. This brought us to about September 30th, at which point I decided that I should try to have a good attitude about "living in Charlotte," even if I was planning a trip to Israel, and would consider moving back there... I thought I should at least attempt to have an open mind about Charlotte - and try to meet some people. So, for the first time in my life, I joined a meet up group, specifically: "Meet Up Charlotte" - and I joined a group called "Horror Movie Meet Up" - and the very first event I decided to sign up for was in that group on October 6th, 2023 - and it was to go and see the new Exorcist film in the theatre - with a bunch of strangers.
Ask me if I've wondered if I brought on the October 7th terror attack, and I will tell you yes.
I enjoyed the film, surprisingly, and I enjoyed the conversation in the cafe after the film, and I believe that by the time I got home, it must have been...I am not quite sure, but I would say close to 11pm or even past 11pm. If that is accurate, then it was 6am-ish here in Israel, and the attack began at 6:29am. But I would not learn about it that night, as I was not "clued in" yet.
I did not have Red Alert apps.
I was not in contact with people here.
I did not get notifications about rockets. So, although I probably stayed up past 1am, I had no idea when I went to sleep that night that families were holed up in their safe rooms, holding the doorknobs up with all their might, as terrorists smoked them out, shot the doors, lit their houses on fire, or shot them as they climbed out their windows, desperate to escape. I did not know that hundreds of young people were racing barefoot through the desert, diving into garbage containers, lying on top of each other, only to have a grenade thrown in. I did not know women were being tied to trees and tortured to death in the forest. I did not know that Arab-Israeli EMTs who came to save lives, would anger Hamas the most, and have their faces carved off and be hung from trees as an example. I did not know any of this, and so when I got up the next morning, I went to the Farmer's Market, which was one thing I truly loved in Charlotte, and arrived home with fresh flowers, fruits and vegetables, and turned on CNN to see what was going on, before heading to work the last Live Nation concert of the season - a Luke Bryan show. And that was when I frowned. Why is Wolf Blitzer working on a Saturday? And that was when I read it. "Citizens of Israel: WE ARE AT WAR." And that was when I felt it. That's me.
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And nothing has been the same since. --
Today I have been going through pictures from the years spent in Hostage Square volunteering, meeting Nic Robertson from CNN, attending the live screenings of the hostages when they finally were released...and one video really stood out to me.
It's from the day that Shiri, Kfir and Ariel Bibas were returned to Israel in coffins, two babies and a mother, and all of Israeli society lined the streets with flags to receive them.
This was the first day I felt worried - a bit - as I walked to Hostage Square, but I shouldn't have felt that way at all. Watch this beautiful video, and you'll see what I mean.
Tomorrow will be difficult, and life here will continue to be challenging - but as I was reminded in a beautiful way on the streets of a South American city, and in a terrifying way a few weeks later - this country - this spec of sand that lies next to the sparkling Mediterranean Sea - is exactly where I belong.
In Loving Memory of the 1200+ murdered civilians on October 7th, 2023. May we hold their families and friends in our hearts tonight, tomorrow and always.
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Melanie Preston is a Jewish writer who made Aliyah for the second time by herself following the October 7th terror attack. Her self-funded work humanized the hostage crisis for the international community through interviews with families, and she has extensively covered the southern communities as they work to rebuild their lives, as well as life on the ground during the Iran war. To support her telling of these important stories, click the donate button or visit her GoFundMe page. Thank you and Shalom from Israel.
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