I'm finally bingeing Eylon Levy's election podcast, after changing my mind hourly for the past month about who to vote for in tomorrow's historic election. This will be my second time ever voting in Israel, but my first time in 20 years. What happens this time could mean the country's survival or not - and what this means depending on who you ask will get you an entirely different response, as is always the case in Israel.

I filmed as I walked home on the dark unfamiliar streets with no cars in sight. Doing this actually caused me to walk in completely the wrong direction. When I eventually arrived home, I turned on Kol Nidre, and I broke down in a way I have done many, many times - but for the first time in a long time, and only about my mother. I could feel her presence deeply - and her lack of presence - and I allowed my many questions for her that have burned my soul for more than a deca

Today was absolutely exhausting - and I don't mean because I painted my bedroom alone for at least eight hours, climbing over my bed, lifting the chair to do the high parts over and over again...with 80s love songs blasting in the background. I mean it was mentally taxing...

Just imagine the look on my face a week ago tonight when I went to prepare myself an actual Shabbat dinner, took the chicken out of the fridge and was met with a stink to high heaven! For ten minutes, I tried to convince myself that I was imagining it and that the chicken was just fine...but eventually I checked the date and even the day we bought it, it was expired - the date read May 4th!

After 11 months and 27 days of relentless struggle in a very difficult language, an even more challenging culture, a bureaucratic system that makes little sense even to those born here - all in the most expensive country on the planet - a young guy who lives in my building decided not to charge me the 150 shekels ($50) we'd agreed on to go and get me a clothes dryer from across town and carry it into my apartment.

Because just like in the early days when your grandparents came here from all over and built these communities that bring you so much pride - that is us, now. The world is squeezing us out - we felt it out there - the hatred of us and the hatred of you and the hatred of this tiny but incredible little country, the land of which is taking the impact of ballistic missiles - and we came - and we are staying.